Other Christian bloggers do it, so I'm inspired to be more open and vulnerable with you, with a prayer that God that will use what I share to encourage others.
So here goes.
Out of the blue, and I'm convinced, by God's direction, Lucy and Linda Poyer knocked on our door today. (Don was next door visiting with a return camper from last year.) Almost, the instant they came in, they both asked me if I felt ok... "what's wrong?"... "are you depressed?"... "you worried about your mom, your kids?" I almost felt like I had a flashing neon sign on my forehead. I blurted out that I was upset with myself... not at all happy about the way I look... disgusted with my weight situation. Why is it that I can pray for others and believe that God will and is answering my prayers, but I fail to consistently give my most nagging personal concerns to my Father? Shame on me. I trust Him. Period. End of discussion. Linda and Lucy never batted an eye as they begin to encourage me and help me get my focus back on God and to stop listening to the lies of the devil. "LaVon, you are exactly who and what God designed you to be." Amen. Please allow me to say it out loud. I am exactly who and what God designed me to be. Lucy prayed a powerful prayer, with Kingdom authority, for me and just like that, they were gone and I my funk had left, also. Praise God.
For confirmation, my loving Creator led me to nitty gritty blog tonight where I read of Jody's exact same struggle during her past. I encourage you to read "My 'other' self" in it's entirety and I quote:
"I have said it before, but sometimes find that we don't really ask God for the things we need- the really simple things, because maybe we think He is 'too big or too busy' to care. Instead, we move along in life carrying worries or burdens that He would love to lift off of us, but we are not willing to turn them over to Him. I think that is one of the biggest lessons I have learned in my life the past several years...God WANTS us to know love and Joy and contentment, but we have to be willing to give Him all our concerns- no matter how big or small they may be.
When I think of all the hurt I carried because I let myself believe I wasn't 'good enough or thin enough' for so long, I still ache inside because I now know that God loves me with an everlasting love and when I couldn't love myself, I was in effect saying, "God I don't like the way you made me- I don't love what You created me to be". I realized at one point that since God designed me, I COULD love me just the way I was. It was in accepting me and all my imperfections that I began to be able to change and become even more of who God created me to be."
This is just part of what Jody shared that is so encouraging to me.
I'm not sure that I've ever really included ALL of me in my submission to the LORD. I'm certain that I've never surrendered all my concerns about me to HIM. I've never really consciously considered that when I've said, "Here I am, Lord. I surrender to YOU," that included any burden that I had picked up along the way, any lie of the devil that I have believed, everything... the good, the bad and the ugly about me. In essence, I haven't viewed my carrying my own burdens as a sin, but it really is. It's a lack of faith, a lack of trust in God, but my heart and soul wants none of that. I want to trust Him with every bit of me. I want to give Him all my concerns. I ask for His forgiveness for not accepting the me that He has created.
Lord God Almighty, I give you ALL of me. I bring all of me to Your feet. Help me to continue to see me as You see me.** Keep my eyes on You and off myself as I renew my mind every day. May I always bring glory and honor to You and be an encouragement to others. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
**How does God see me? God sees me as His child, forgiven, loved, accepted, wanted, worthy of a relationship with Him through my faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, who paid for my sin debt.
Which leads me to think about the next phase and a whole other topic: how do I view others? Hmmm. I'm thinking about it. What do you think?